i don't like sucking hair
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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