his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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