Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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