you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
