But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
