ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
