i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
