i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
