She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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