I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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