But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
