so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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