Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
