Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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