Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
