Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
