Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
