Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
