So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
