In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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