turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
