WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
how does that bad decision feel?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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