Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
