Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
