We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
