It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
