i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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