dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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