So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
