So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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