OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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