Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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