He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
