he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
