I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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