This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
