Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
