The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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