Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
