do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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