Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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