after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
