just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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