so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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