Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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