Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
