And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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