never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need to calm my uterus...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
