About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
