he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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