no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
