Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
